Newsletters

July 2017 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Sunday, July 02, 2017

Last month we discussed Career Counselling and Roberta Cava’s book What am I going to do with the rest of my life? This month we will discuss:

SUPERVISORS FROM HELL

When I first started offering my Dealing with Difficult People seminars, I assumed that “off the wall” clients would be the most difficult group in the workplace. My second guess - was difficult workmates or colleagues. I was wrong in making those assumptions! I found that overwhelmingly, their supervisors and managers were the most difficult people faced by the 55,000 participants of my seminar!

Why is this the case? Because most of their supervisors, managers, foremen/women, department heads, executives and even C.E.O.s of companies had not received the basic training necessary for them to successfully supervise others. These difficult supervisors made the following mistakes:

  • Embarrass their staff by disciplining them in front of workmates or clients.
  • Label staff’s behaviour (stupid, dumb) or make sarcastic remarks, instead of trying to correct the actual behaviour of the staff member.
  • Don’t give recognition for a job well done.  Instead, they concentrate on the two percent of the things their staff do incorrectly, instead of the ninety-eight percent they do properly.
  • When dealing with customer complaints, they don’t back up their staff and don’t give employees a chance to tell their side of the story before acting.  (Who should say to the client, “Let me investigate this and I’ll get back to you.”)
  • Don’t provide an up-to-date job description with key performance indicators and standards of performance for the tasks performed by their staff.
  • Don’t provide the necessary training to fill the gap between job requirements and employee’s skills.
  • Conduct performance appraisals on staff without a proper job description upon which to base their evaluation.  (If the employee doesn’t know what’s expected of him/her, and the supervisor doesn’t know either - how can a fair evaluation of the performance be conducted?)
  • Have one set of company rules for staff - another for themselves.  Bend the rules when clients go over the head of front-line staff, causing embarrassment for staff members.
  • No set policy and procedure manuals available.  Rules and regulations of the company are not clearly defined.
  • Harass staff (either through bullying or sexual harassment).
  • Do nothing to improve the employee’s interest in their jobs.  Some are afraid their staff are now ready to compete for their job, so do as little as possible to develop their skills for their next step up.  (It’s a proven fact that more supervisors are not promoted because there is nobody prepared to take over their existing job.)
  • Are not available when their staff need their help.  They say they have an “open door policy,” but are always “too busy” to deal with their staff’s problems.
  • Won’t listen to their staff’s suggestions about better ways to complete tasks. The person doing the job normally has the best ideas on how to do the job better, faster, and more efficiently.
  • Are perfectionists and expect everything to be done perfectly. Just because they can do the job in ten minutes (they have fifteen years’ experience) they expect the newcomer to do it in the same amount of time with the same amount of accuracy.

If this describes the actions of your supervisors / managers, seriously consider providing them with the necessary tools to do their jobs properly - otherwise you’re setting them up to fail! If this is you making these mistakes - get the training yourself or you too will fail.

Let’s assume you’re the new supervisor. You’ve decided that because you have a BA or an MBA degree, you’re fully prepared to be a supervisor and you’ll be safe if you clone the behaviour of your past supervisors. Unfortunately, most BA and MBA degree programs do not include supervisory training, and most supervisors have not had the proper training. Therefore, you may be setting yourself up to be another “Supervisor from Hell.”

So, you decide to do the right thing and obtain basic supervisory training. Will it take a long time and cost too much? No - learning the basics of supervision won’t involve as much time as you’d expect. What will you need to learn? The first thing you’ll realise is that you’ll have an entirely different role to play. People will expect so much from you - from your boss downward, and from your staff upwards. How’s a person to cope? You’ll be expected to delegate work to your staff, but how do you decide who’s the right person to do the job? And after you’ve delegated the task, how do you motivate your staff to do a good job for you? How do your manage your time, when so many people need you to be available to them - and still get your own work done? You know that if you’re not efficient in time management, you’ll have your staff sitting around twiddling their thumbs one minute or madly scrambling at the last minute to complete assignments. If this happens, you’ll be in trouble with your boss.

Then there are the problems - oh the problems! Why do your staff keep coming to you with their “Mickey Mouse” problems - can’t they use some initiative and make some decisions on their own? You say that if I’d trained them thoroughly - they wouldn’t be coming to me with those kinds of problems? Who has the time or the capabilities to play the part of a training manager along with all the other duties I’m expected to perform?

Am I really responsible for choosing new staff? How am I supposed to hire staff when I’ve never hired anyone before, and haven’t a clue how to do so, without breaking the anti-discrimination laws. And you say I’ll have to step in and deal with personality problems between staff members, correct behaviour and production problems, update job descriptions, and conduct performance appraisal interviews? How am I going to cope with all these new responsibilities?

Then you have to consider the following. What if you’re one of ten workmates who applied for the job, and are facing nine hostile staff members who thought they should have your job?  And Margaret is your best friend - can you still socialise with her or will you have to distance yourself from her because she now reports to you?

Many who have taken on the responsibilities of a supervisor wonder what possibly possessed them to accept the position!  Unless a supervisor knows how to deal with these issues – s/he will likely become another “Supervisor from Hell.” So, what’s a person to do? The answer is simple - get the necessary training - even if you have to pay for it yourself!

Or, why not purchase Roberta Cava’s book Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers either through Amazon Books https://www.bookdepository.com/Survival-Skills-for-Supervisors-and-Managers-Robert-Cav/9780992340254 or:

https://www.createspace.com/4442942

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written?

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

June 2017 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, June 01, 2017

Last month we discussed our Performance Appraisal System. This month we will discuss our Career Counselling System and Roberta Cava’s book:

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

Making Career Choices

 

This book is an absolute must for anyone facing dismissal or company downsizing; being forced into early retirement; hate their job or simply want a career change. Or possibly you’re thinking of starting your own business. Learn whether you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur.

Roberta Cava has over three decades of experience in Human Resources and Career Counselling. She has interviewed thousands of candidates for jobs; knows what employers are really looking for and shows you how to field illegal interview questions.

You can order the book by going to: www.createspace.com/4438768

Roberta is the owner of Cava Consulting in Australia and has presented her seminars worldwide and offers a unique career counselling service as follows:

Career Counselling

Instead of dragging yourself to work every day, why not start the New Year by searching for a job you really like?

In these hard, economic times, are you finding it difficult to find suitable employment in your field of work? How would you like to expand those opportunities? This unique career counselling service will enable you to determine your transferrable skills and identify another 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations where you could use those skills.

An investment of $175.00 will provide you with an extensive report that includes:

  • A list of your transferrable skills
  • 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations you could investigate that use your transferrable skills
  • A psychological report that includes:

1.    Your strengths in the areas of interest, ability, values, personality, capacity.

2.    Interest, ability and personality profiles

3.    What you think your skills are compared to what they really are.

4.    Determine your management, persuasive, social artistic, clerical, mechanical, investigative and operational abilities.

5.    Whether you are outgoing, reserved, factual, creative, analytical, caring, organised, or casual.

6.    Your ability to think, reason, and solve problems.

7.    Values inventory.

8.    Your stamina level.

9.    Your I.Q. Score.

10.   Performance and personality characteristics.

11.   Motivational and De-motivational factors.

12.   Whether you have what it takes to become an entrepreneur and have your own business.

What will happen........

When we receive your payment of $175.00 through our web page, (along with a copy of your CV or resume) we will e-mail you our Career Choices workbook. As soon as we receive your completed workbook, we will send you your personalized extensive Career Choices report. This service can also be done via regular post (but it will take much longer).

For more information contact: info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to Deal with Time Bombs

This type of individual attacks the person, not their ideas, often using labels to let them know that their opponent is dumb, stupid or error‑prone.  If others disagree with their ideas they believe they're being criticised at a personal level so their attack is done with a vengeance. They have no qualms about attacking others in public and like to appear the victor. However, as this person has tackled most observers themselves, they're seldom taken in by the person's behaviour.

To overcome:

1. Don’t let them goad you into making rash statements or to over-react. Keep your cool, using facts to defend your ideas.

2. Confront them privately, warning them that if they continue to belittle you in public that you will be forced to retaliate.

3. Encourage them to obtain help in handling their anger.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the services and products we offer. Go to: www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

May, 2017 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Tuesday, May 02, 2017

HELP US CELEBRATE OUR 35TH ANNIVERSARY THIS MONTH!

In May, 1982 we opened our first international training company in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Next was our Maui, Hawaii office in 1986 and our Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia was opened in 1998.

Last month we missed having a newsletter. Our March newsletter gave you information about the Human Resources Consulting services we offer. This month we will discuss our Performance Appraisal System:

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL SYSTEM

Performance appraisal systems that evaluate such subjective things as; judgment, initiative, attitude, or interpersonal skills are not fair appraisal systems, and should be replaced with performance appraisals that evaluate objective, measurable tasks.

Our system starts with accurate, up-to-date job descriptions (we can help you write these) that include; Key Performance Indicators, (KPIs) and the tasks that are taken to meet those KPIs. Each of those tasks would have standards of performance, so both the supervisor and employee know exactly how they are doing throughout the performance period.

Find out more by asking Cava Consulting about their award-winning Performance Appraisal System.

Please contact Roberta Cava info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to Deal with Bullies:

Bullies use fear, cruelty and threats to control others.  Although they often fool others into believing they have high self-esteem, the opposite is true. That’s why they go after those who appear weak and passive.  The hair on the back of your neck will rise when these people enter the room. Instead of behaving submissively around them, stand your ground. To overcome:

  1. Let Bullies fully vent their anger without retaliating, remembering that you control whether you accept their anger or are unaffected by it.
  2. Confirm that you understand their side of the issue (using paraphrasing).
  3. If they bully you in public, deal with them immediately.  Don’t wait until you have a private moment, as you would with other, less aggressive people.
  4. Encourage them to obtain anger management.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the services and products we offer. Go to: www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

March 2017 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Last month we gave you a list of where you can purchase the large print edition of Roberta Cava’s books. This month we will discuss our human resources services:

HUMAN RESOURCES CONSULTING

Is your business too small to have someone on staff to deal exclusively with Human Resources matters?

If so, the following might interest you.

Cava Consulting offers the following Human Resource consulting services to companies too small to have their own Human Resources Department. One individual is trained to look after the H.R. function and thereafter we’re on call to assist with further instructions. ROBERTA CAVA has been in the Human Resources field for over thirty years. In 1982, she opened Cava Management Consulting Services in Canada and USA in1986 then Cava Consulting in Australia in 1998. Her experience includes a position where she was Head of Human Resources, Payroll and Training for a financial firm in Melbourne and she set up and managed the Human Resources Department for a group of 12 construction companies based in Canada.

Cava Consulting offers help in the following areas:

  • Preparing Human Resources Policies and Procedures Manuals

Our Human Resources Policies and Procedures Manual has over 300 pages of policies, procedures and forms used by Human Resource professionals.  The CD (pdf) locked version is $395.00 and Word format (unlocked so you can adapt the information to meet your company’s needs) - $595.00! (Having us custom-build these for companies can cost between $10,000 and $50,000 to prepare from scratch). We can still customise them for you and add your company logo at our hourly rate of $120.00.

We also:

  • Prepare Employee Handbooks
  • Identify what information should and should not be on employee personnel files
  • Help you write job descriptions and classify positions for salary ranges (22,000 occupational profiles on disk)
  • Conduct wage and salary surveys to keep your employees' salaries in line with others in your industry
  • Teach supervisors how to document disciplinary matters and handle difficult matters such as female employees complaining of sexual harassment
  • Set up a performance appraisal system that works! After set-up, your firm can implement and monitor it without assistance
  • Conduct exit interviews (to determine reasons for high turnover of staff etc.)
  • Assess training needs
  • Provide Career Counselling

Please contact Roberta Cava info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with adults having tantrums:

Adult tantrums are designed to cope with feelings of fear, helplessness and frustration. To a child, tantrums are a great equalising mechanism. Such disruptive behaviour continues into adulthood if the outbursts still work. However, tantrums produce a greater backwash of anger and resistance than any of the other difficult behaviours. Coping with a person having a tantrum is chiefly a matter of helping them regain self-control. To overcome:

·       Give them time to run down and regain self-control.

·       Because tantrums are used to get attention, give them the opposite by saying, ‘I see you're very angry about this. I'll give you a chance to calm down, then we can discuss this rationally.’ Then walk away from the person.

·       If they continue with this behaviour, explain that their behaviour is unacceptable and you won't talk to them until they calm down.

·       Encourage them to obtain help to handle their anger.

 

 

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the services and products we offer. Go to: www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

 

 

 

 

February 2017 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Last month we gave you a list of where you can purchase the eBook edition of Roberta Cava’s books. This month we will give you a list of where you can purchase the large print paperback editions:

BOOK TITLE

WEB PAGE

Dealing with Difficult People

www.createspace.com/4707902

Dealing with Difficult Relatives & In-Laws

/4707902

Dealing with Difficult Spouses & Children

/4708196

Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work

/4721921

Dealing with Difficult Situations at Home

/4721955

Retirement Village Bullies

/4700317

Time – Today’s silent killer

/4710587

Stressed Out?

/4710409

 

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with Snitchers

Snitchers childishly tattle on their co-workers and spread gossip.  This can occur due to jealousy or to pay others back for some perceived wrongdoing. They try to discredit others, so they look better to their superiors.  To overcome:

  1. Use feedback to explain your displeasure at them using this kind of behaviour.
  2. Make sure you praise them for their accomplishments.
  3. Determine whether you’ve been encouraging this kind of behaviour by your actions.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to: www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books

January 2017 Dealing With Difficut People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Sunday, January 01, 2017

Season’s Greetings to you all. I hope you are having

 a wonderful holiday season.

Last month we gave you a list of where you can purchase the paperback edition of Roberta Cava’s books. This month we will give you a list of where you can purchase the eBook editions:

BOOK TITLE

WEB PAGE

Dealing with Difficult People

www.smashwords.com/books/view/52595  

Dealing with Difficult Relatives & In-Laws

/52611

Dealing with Difficult Spouses & Children

/53605

Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work and at Home

/52599

Dealing with Domestic Violence & Child Abuse

/52616

Dealing with School Bullying

/52620

Dealing with Workplace Bullying

/52635

Retirement Village Bullies

/415229

Just Say No!

/pending

Keeping our Children Safe

/575818

How Women Can Advance in Business

/52638

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

/52651

Survival Skills for Supervisors & Managers

/52662

Time & Stress – Today’s silent killers

/52672

Before Tying the Knot – Questions couples must ask each other before they marry!

/52604

Easy Come – Hard to go – The art of Hiring Disciplining and Firing Employees

/52674

Human Resources at its best

/52675

Human Resources Policies & Procedures

/411919

Employee Handbook

/405276

Take Command of your Future – Make things happen

/52664

Wisdom of the World – The happy, sad and wise parts of life

/238886

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 1

/52678

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 2

/52679

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 3

/109807

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 4

/109810

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 5

/609508

Belly Laughs for All – Volume 6

/658053

 

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with Intimidators:

Whenever they don't get what they want, they use hidden ways to threaten, coerce, hurt or embarrass others.  Staff feel powerless when the intimidator is their boss.  They're noted for stabbing others in the back, so don't drop your guard and be ready for an attack.  To overcome:

  1. Prepare yourself psychologically for your next encounter.
  2. Rehearse how you will respond the next time they try to intimidate you.
  3. Walk away from them, explaining that their tactics aren't going to work on you any more.
  4. If this is your boss, call in reinforcements by speaking with someone in the Human Resources Department, a mediator or an employee relations manager. If necessary, go above your boss's head to his or her manager. Make sure you bring facts with you, not assumptions and innuendoes.
  5. If upper management won't help, contact the Anti-Discrimination commission of your State or Territory who will advise you on how to proceed against a boss who uses harassment to coerce staff.

December 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, December 01, 2016

December, 2016 - Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

If you prefer not to receive our newsletters, please unsubscribe by returning this e-mail with the subject – ‘Remove.

Last month we discussed Roberta Cava’s Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL SYSTEM

Performance appraisal systems that evaluate such subjective things as; judgment, initiative, attitude, or interpersonal skills are not fair appraisal systems, and should be replaced with performance appraisals that evaluate objective, measurable tasks.

Cava Consulting’s copyrighted system starts with writing accurate, up-to-date job descriptions (we can help you write these) that include; Key Performance Indicators, (KPIs) and the tasks that are taken to meet those KPIs. Each of those tasks would have standards of performance, so both the supervisor and employee would know exactly how they were doing throughout the performance period.

Find out more by asking us about our award-winning Performance Appraisal System. The cost is minimal - $300.00US for using the system plus $1.00 for each employee of the branch or company.

Please contact Roberta Cava info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with adults having tantrums:

Adult tantrums are designed to cope with feelings of fear, helplessness and frustration. To a child, tantrums are a great equalising mechanism. Such disruptive behaviour continues into adulthood if the outbursts still work. However, tantrums produce a greater backwash of anger and resistance than any of the other difficult behaviours. Coping with a person having a tantrum is chiefly a matter of helping them regain self-control.   To overcome:

  • Give them time to run down and regain self-control.
  • Because tantrums are used to get attention, give them the opposite by saying, "I see you're very angry about this.  I'll give you a chance to calm down, then we can discuss this rationally."  Then walk away from the person.
  • If they continue with this behaviour, explain that their behaviour is unacceptable and you won't talk to them until they calm down.
  • Encourage them to obtain help to handle their anger.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. By going to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

November 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Roberta Cava’s trilogy of books. This month we will discuss:

Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the best-selling book;
Dealing with Difficult People and her book:
Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers

This series of seminars is geared towards those who are already supervisors and managers, but are having problems supervising their staff. It is also for those who are new supervisors or who will soon be a new supervisor.

Whenever work is delegated to others, the person responsible for their actions is their supervisor. It doesn’t matter whether those individuals have the title of supervisor, foreman/woman, manager, department head, superintendent, executive or CEO – if they’re supervising others – they’re supervisors.

Roberta has presented these seminars in Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Germany, South Africa, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, and the Philippines.

To learn more about hiring, disciplining and firing staff, be sure to look at Roberta’s book Easy Come – Hard to Go – the art of hiring disciplining and firing employees.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy Part 1 and 2 of the Leadership Styles, Motivation, Time Management or Workplace Bullying for only $40:

SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR                            Min.    Cost

SUPERVISORS AND

MANAGERS SERIES OF

SEMINARS

The Role of the Supervisor                      34       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1                        26       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 2                        25       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1 and 2            51       $40

Delegation                                                    25       $25

Motivation - Part 1                                      28       $25

Motivation - Part 2                                      25       $25

Motivation - Part 1 and 2                          53       $40

Time Management - Part 1                       27       $25

Time Management - Part 2                       25       $25

Time Management Part 1 and 2              52       $40

Problem Solving & Decision Making     27       $25

Managing Change                                      25       $25

Productive Meetings                                 35       $25

Team Building                                             28       $25

The Art of Negotiation                               25       $25

Surviving Company Downsizing             26       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1                     25       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 2                     27       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1 and 2          52       $40

To order, go to: http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/online_seminars.htm

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

Envious/jealous manipulators

These people suffer from jealousy and resentment and cannot accept that you’ve earned whatever recognition or status you’ve achieved in life. They feel that your achievements were obtained through ‘luck’ and that they’re deprived because life hasn’t been so kind to them. To put you down (and make themselves feel more important) they try to discredit your accomplishments. They want revenge and even if the attack is unprovoked, they may vent their frustration on you with hostile acts. To overcome:

1. Use feedback to identify their actions and ask them to account for them.   Then try to keep future talks on a friendly level.

2. Encourage them and give them praise for authentic acts.

3. Show an interest in them - their goals, ambitions, and successes, but down-play their perceived failures.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

October 2016 Dealing with Difficult People newsletter

Roberta Cava - Friday, September 30, 2016

Last month we discussed my trilogy of books that could be ordered in paperback format. This month we will discuss the same book, but give you information on how you can order those books in eBook formats (all kinds):

Trilogy of fiction books by Roberta Cava

Roberta Cava is a best-selling author of 27 non-fiction books and five fiction books. She lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland in Australia.

 

Life gets complicated

Becky Wilson’s life as a book editor at a publishing company gets very complicated when her twelve-year-old daughter Sandy is attacked by a man who broke into their home. He attempted to rape the girl and as a result was killed by her enraged mother.

The police officer who investigates the crime, Sergeant Dan Jeffries, becomes very special to Becky and Sandy until complications in his life makes it necessary for him to take over the major custody of his two-year-old son, Mike.

As a volunteer with Crime Stoppers, Becky presents talks to junior and senior high school students about drugs, school and cyber bullying and the danger of on-line paedophiles. There are lots of twists and turns in this book, so get ready to climb aboard for the ride.

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/458381 - $9.99 US$.

 

Life goes on

Becky and Dan Jeffries had just arrived home from their honeymoon when Becky realized that at the age of thirty-nine she was pregnant. She’d lost several babies prematurely during her first marriage so this was a mixed blessing.

Their lives change and Becky now works at home as a publishing editor. She discovers a new author that she’s sure will be a winner and possibly have her book about a battered wife made into a movie. She encourages the author to write two sequels to her first book.

One of Dan’s experiences on his job as a detective is frightening as he becomes involved in fighting a terrorist attack. Another case he investigates involves an elderly woman who is forced to defend herself. It turns out to be a rather amusing investigation.

Dan’s brother and aunt find living in Australia not the happy experience they expect and his ex-wife Emily takes up painting and finds a new love.

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/477123 - $9.99 US$

 

Life gets better

Little Grady Flannigan goes missing and his police sergeant mother is frantic – will he be found?

Becky and Dan learn that their daughter Vicki is almost totally deaf – will she be able to hear?

Dan’s mother Dorothea’s dog Jake swallows a button battery – will he survive?

Will Becky’s son Ken and friend Glenn survive when their helicopter crashes in the Canadian wilderness?

Will Shirley Roberts’s third book become a best-seller?

Will Dan Jeffries be involved in more dangerous altercations with criminals?

Will Becky succeed with her new endeavor with Crime Stoppers?

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/647597 - $9.99 US$.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

The way to win arguments

Nobody likes to lose an argument.  Here are clues to how you might win your next one:

  1. Ask for time to think things over. Then both of you can take this opportunity to calm down.
  2. Pay attention to your body’s reaction. Has the fight-or-flight reaction been triggered?  Take a deep breath to increase your oxygen intake to your brain so it can analyse your situation more clearly.
  3. Don’t snap back at the person. You may regret a fast retort, which may have lasting repercussions.
  4. Determine what it is you want that you’re not getting?  Should you be willing to negotiate more - to give in a little so you can both win?
  5. If the other person has ‘lost it,’ don’t negotiate until s/he’s calmed down. A quiet manner is always your best approach.
  6. Wait until s/he’s willing to listen to your side of the story. Make sure you’re listening carefully to his/her side of the story.
  7. Make sure s/he knows you’re listening.  Use paraphrasing on a regular basis to confirm that what s/he’s said is what you heard.
  8. S/he doesn’t seem to be listening to what you have to say. Insist that s/he does.  Say, “I’ve made a point of listening carefully to what you have to say. Can I count on you to do the same for me?’
  9. Ask, ‘What do you want me to do?’ Clarify that you know what s/he wants. Listen to his/her answer and confirm or correct.
  10. State what you want, clearly and sequentially. Again, be willing to negotiate.
  11. When an agreement is reached, summarise the agreement and go over pertinent areas again to re-confirm your understanding.

 Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

 www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books

September 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, September 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Dealing with Difficult People Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Trilogy of fiction books by Roberta Cava

Roberta Cava is a best-selling author of 27 non-fiction books and five fiction books. She lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland in Australia.

 

Life gets complicated

Becky Wilson’s life as a book editor at a publishing company gets very complicated when her twelve-year-old daughter Sandy is attacked by a man who broke into their home. He attempted to rape the girl and as a result was killed by her enraged mother.

The police officer who investigates the crime, Sergeant Dan Jeffries, becomes very special to Becky and Sandy until complications in his life makes it necessary for him to take over the major custody of his two-year-old son, Mike.

As a volunteer with Crime Stoppers, Becky presents talks to junior and senior high school students about drugs, school and cyber bullying and the danger of on-line paedophiles. There are lots of twists and turns in this book, so get ready to climb aboard for the ride.

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/4903318 - $14.99 US$+ del.

 

Life goes on

Becky and Dan Jeffries had just arrived home from their honeymoon when Becky realized that at the age of thirty-nine she was pregnant. She’d lost several babies prematurely during her first marriage so this was a mixed blessing.

Their lives change and Becky now works at home as a publishing editor. She discovers a new author that she’s sure will be a winner and possibly have her book about a battered wife made into a movie. She encourages the author to write two sequels to her first book.

One of Dan’s experiences on his job as a detective is frightening as he becomes involved in fighting a terrorist attack. Another case he investigates involves an elderly woman who is forced to defend herself. It turns out to be a rather amusing investigation.

Dan’s brother and aunt find living in Australia not the happy experience they expect and his ex-wife Emily takes up painting and finds a new love.

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/5001826  - $14.99 US$+ del.

 

Life gets better

Little Grady Flannigan goes missing and his police sergeant mother is frantic – will he be found?

Becky and Dan learn that their daughter Vicki is almost totally deaf – will she be able to hear?

Dan’s mother Dorothea’s dog Jake swallows a button battery – will he survive?

Will Becky’s son Ken and friend Glenn survive when their helicopter crashes in the Canadian wilderness?

Will Shirley Roberts’s third book become a best-seller?

Will Dan Jeffries be involved in more dangerous altercations with criminals?

Will Becky succeed with her new endeavor with Crime Stoppers?

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/5791334 - $14.99 US$+ del.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to Deal with Whiners, Complainers and Bellyachers:

They're chronic gripers who grumble about everything - publicly and privately. They're cry-babies who voice protracted protests over the unimportant. Driven by childish insecurity, they complain when everything's actually going well. They love to exaggerate unfair workloads, tardy reports, broken rules - whatever they can blame on somebody else. Although their work is good, they usually don't sound off about legitimate problems. When whiners warn you of trouble ahead, their intent is to establish an excuse in advance of a feared failure. To overcome:

  1. When they start griping, obtain their permission to let you help them find solutions to their problems. If they don't allow you to help, go to step 7. If they accept your help, proceed to step 2.
  2. Have them write down the specific problem. (This might take some time to determine.)
  3. Ask them to write down all the possible solutions to the problem. You can suggest others.
  4. Have them identify the benefits and disadvantages of each solution. A point system might help. For instance, the cost of solving the problem might be crucial.
  5. Have them choose the best solution. (They might ask, "What do you think I should do?"  Don't take the bait, because if you do suggest the best solution - and it doesn't work - they'll be the first to say, "I told you it wouldn't work!" )
  6. Have them write the steps they will take to achieve the solution (giving deadlines).
  7. Refuse to talk about the topic in the future.

This is an ideal tactic to use yourself if you've become a whiner, complainer or bellyacher yourself, or use when you have to make complicated decisions. It takes the emotion out of the decision-making process and forces you to be more objective.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books  


 
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