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December 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, December 01, 2016

December, 2016 - Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

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Last month we discussed Roberta Cava’s Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL SYSTEM

Performance appraisal systems that evaluate such subjective things as; judgment, initiative, attitude, or interpersonal skills are not fair appraisal systems, and should be replaced with performance appraisals that evaluate objective, measurable tasks.

Cava Consulting’s copyrighted system starts with writing accurate, up-to-date job descriptions (we can help you write these) that include; Key Performance Indicators, (KPIs) and the tasks that are taken to meet those KPIs. Each of those tasks would have standards of performance, so both the supervisor and employee would know exactly how they were doing throughout the performance period.

Find out more by asking us about our award-winning Performance Appraisal System. The cost is minimal - $300.00US for using the system plus $1.00 for each employee of the branch or company.

Please contact Roberta Cava info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with adults having tantrums:

Adult tantrums are designed to cope with feelings of fear, helplessness and frustration. To a child, tantrums are a great equalising mechanism. Such disruptive behaviour continues into adulthood if the outbursts still work. However, tantrums produce a greater backwash of anger and resistance than any of the other difficult behaviours. Coping with a person having a tantrum is chiefly a matter of helping them regain self-control.   To overcome:

  • Give them time to run down and regain self-control.
  • Because tantrums are used to get attention, give them the opposite by saying, "I see you're very angry about this.  I'll give you a chance to calm down, then we can discuss this rationally."  Then walk away from the person.
  • If they continue with this behaviour, explain that their behaviour is unacceptable and you won't talk to them until they calm down.
  • Encourage them to obtain help to handle their anger.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. By going to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

November 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Roberta Cava’s trilogy of books. This month we will discuss:

Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the best-selling book;
Dealing with Difficult People and her book:
Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers

This series of seminars is geared towards those who are already supervisors and managers, but are having problems supervising their staff. It is also for those who are new supervisors or who will soon be a new supervisor.

Whenever work is delegated to others, the person responsible for their actions is their supervisor. It doesn’t matter whether those individuals have the title of supervisor, foreman/woman, manager, department head, superintendent, executive or CEO – if they’re supervising others – they’re supervisors.

Roberta has presented these seminars in Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Germany, South Africa, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, and the Philippines.

To learn more about hiring, disciplining and firing staff, be sure to look at Roberta’s book Easy Come – Hard to Go – the art of hiring disciplining and firing employees.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy Part 1 and 2 of the Leadership Styles, Motivation, Time Management or Workplace Bullying for only $40:

SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR                            Min.    Cost

SUPERVISORS AND

MANAGERS SERIES OF

SEMINARS

The Role of the Supervisor                      34       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1                        26       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 2                        25       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1 and 2            51       $40

Delegation                                                    25       $25

Motivation - Part 1                                      28       $25

Motivation - Part 2                                      25       $25

Motivation - Part 1 and 2                          53       $40

Time Management - Part 1                       27       $25

Time Management - Part 2                       25       $25

Time Management Part 1 and 2              52       $40

Problem Solving & Decision Making     27       $25

Managing Change                                      25       $25

Productive Meetings                                 35       $25

Team Building                                             28       $25

The Art of Negotiation                               25       $25

Surviving Company Downsizing             26       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1                     25       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 2                     27       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1 and 2          52       $40

To order, go to: http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/online_seminars.htm

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

Envious/jealous manipulators

These people suffer from jealousy and resentment and cannot accept that you’ve earned whatever recognition or status you’ve achieved in life. They feel that your achievements were obtained through ‘luck’ and that they’re deprived because life hasn’t been so kind to them. To put you down (and make themselves feel more important) they try to discredit your accomplishments. They want revenge and even if the attack is unprovoked, they may vent their frustration on you with hostile acts. To overcome:

1. Use feedback to identify their actions and ask them to account for them.   Then try to keep future talks on a friendly level.

2. Encourage them and give them praise for authentic acts.

3. Show an interest in them - their goals, ambitions, and successes, but down-play their perceived failures.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

October 2016 Dealing with Difficult People newsletter

Roberta Cava - Friday, September 30, 2016

Last month we discussed my trilogy of books that could be ordered in paperback format. This month we will discuss the same book, but give you information on how you can order those books in eBook formats (all kinds):

Trilogy of fiction books by Roberta Cava

Roberta Cava is a best-selling author of 27 non-fiction books and five fiction books. She lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland in Australia.

 

Life gets complicated

Becky Wilson’s life as a book editor at a publishing company gets very complicated when her twelve-year-old daughter Sandy is attacked by a man who broke into their home. He attempted to rape the girl and as a result was killed by her enraged mother.

The police officer who investigates the crime, Sergeant Dan Jeffries, becomes very special to Becky and Sandy until complications in his life makes it necessary for him to take over the major custody of his two-year-old son, Mike.

As a volunteer with Crime Stoppers, Becky presents talks to junior and senior high school students about drugs, school and cyber bullying and the danger of on-line paedophiles. There are lots of twists and turns in this book, so get ready to climb aboard for the ride.

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/458381 - $9.99 US$.

 

Life goes on

Becky and Dan Jeffries had just arrived home from their honeymoon when Becky realized that at the age of thirty-nine she was pregnant. She’d lost several babies prematurely during her first marriage so this was a mixed blessing.

Their lives change and Becky now works at home as a publishing editor. She discovers a new author that she’s sure will be a winner and possibly have her book about a battered wife made into a movie. She encourages the author to write two sequels to her first book.

One of Dan’s experiences on his job as a detective is frightening as he becomes involved in fighting a terrorist attack. Another case he investigates involves an elderly woman who is forced to defend herself. It turns out to be a rather amusing investigation.

Dan’s brother and aunt find living in Australia not the happy experience they expect and his ex-wife Emily takes up painting and finds a new love.

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/477123 - $9.99 US$

 

Life gets better

Little Grady Flannigan goes missing and his police sergeant mother is frantic – will he be found?

Becky and Dan learn that their daughter Vicki is almost totally deaf – will she be able to hear?

Dan’s mother Dorothea’s dog Jake swallows a button battery – will he survive?

Will Becky’s son Ken and friend Glenn survive when their helicopter crashes in the Canadian wilderness?

Will Shirley Roberts’s third book become a best-seller?

Will Dan Jeffries be involved in more dangerous altercations with criminals?

Will Becky succeed with her new endeavor with Crime Stoppers?

Order by going to: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/647597 - $9.99 US$.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

The way to win arguments

Nobody likes to lose an argument.  Here are clues to how you might win your next one:

  1. Ask for time to think things over. Then both of you can take this opportunity to calm down.
  2. Pay attention to your body’s reaction. Has the fight-or-flight reaction been triggered?  Take a deep breath to increase your oxygen intake to your brain so it can analyse your situation more clearly.
  3. Don’t snap back at the person. You may regret a fast retort, which may have lasting repercussions.
  4. Determine what it is you want that you’re not getting?  Should you be willing to negotiate more - to give in a little so you can both win?
  5. If the other person has ‘lost it,’ don’t negotiate until s/he’s calmed down. A quiet manner is always your best approach.
  6. Wait until s/he’s willing to listen to your side of the story. Make sure you’re listening carefully to his/her side of the story.
  7. Make sure s/he knows you’re listening.  Use paraphrasing on a regular basis to confirm that what s/he’s said is what you heard.
  8. S/he doesn’t seem to be listening to what you have to say. Insist that s/he does.  Say, “I’ve made a point of listening carefully to what you have to say. Can I count on you to do the same for me?’
  9. Ask, ‘What do you want me to do?’ Clarify that you know what s/he wants. Listen to his/her answer and confirm or correct.
  10. State what you want, clearly and sequentially. Again, be willing to negotiate.
  11. When an agreement is reached, summarise the agreement and go over pertinent areas again to re-confirm your understanding.

 Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

 www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books

September 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, September 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Dealing with Difficult People Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Trilogy of fiction books by Roberta Cava

Roberta Cava is a best-selling author of 27 non-fiction books and five fiction books. She lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland in Australia.

 

Life gets complicated

Becky Wilson’s life as a book editor at a publishing company gets very complicated when her twelve-year-old daughter Sandy is attacked by a man who broke into their home. He attempted to rape the girl and as a result was killed by her enraged mother.

The police officer who investigates the crime, Sergeant Dan Jeffries, becomes very special to Becky and Sandy until complications in his life makes it necessary for him to take over the major custody of his two-year-old son, Mike.

As a volunteer with Crime Stoppers, Becky presents talks to junior and senior high school students about drugs, school and cyber bullying and the danger of on-line paedophiles. There are lots of twists and turns in this book, so get ready to climb aboard for the ride.

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/4903318 - $14.99 US$+ del.

 

Life goes on

Becky and Dan Jeffries had just arrived home from their honeymoon when Becky realized that at the age of thirty-nine she was pregnant. She’d lost several babies prematurely during her first marriage so this was a mixed blessing.

Their lives change and Becky now works at home as a publishing editor. She discovers a new author that she’s sure will be a winner and possibly have her book about a battered wife made into a movie. She encourages the author to write two sequels to her first book.

One of Dan’s experiences on his job as a detective is frightening as he becomes involved in fighting a terrorist attack. Another case he investigates involves an elderly woman who is forced to defend herself. It turns out to be a rather amusing investigation.

Dan’s brother and aunt find living in Australia not the happy experience they expect and his ex-wife Emily takes up painting and finds a new love.

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/5001826  - $14.99 US$+ del.

 

Life gets better

Little Grady Flannigan goes missing and his police sergeant mother is frantic – will he be found?

Becky and Dan learn that their daughter Vicki is almost totally deaf – will she be able to hear?

Dan’s mother Dorothea’s dog Jake swallows a button battery – will he survive?

Will Becky’s son Ken and friend Glenn survive when their helicopter crashes in the Canadian wilderness?

Will Shirley Roberts’s third book become a best-seller?

Will Dan Jeffries be involved in more dangerous altercations with criminals?

Will Becky succeed with her new endeavor with Crime Stoppers?

Order by going to: www.createspace.com/5791334 - $14.99 US$+ del.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to Deal with Whiners, Complainers and Bellyachers:

They're chronic gripers who grumble about everything - publicly and privately. They're cry-babies who voice protracted protests over the unimportant. Driven by childish insecurity, they complain when everything's actually going well. They love to exaggerate unfair workloads, tardy reports, broken rules - whatever they can blame on somebody else. Although their work is good, they usually don't sound off about legitimate problems. When whiners warn you of trouble ahead, their intent is to establish an excuse in advance of a feared failure. To overcome:

  1. When they start griping, obtain their permission to let you help them find solutions to their problems. If they don't allow you to help, go to step 7. If they accept your help, proceed to step 2.
  2. Have them write down the specific problem. (This might take some time to determine.)
  3. Ask them to write down all the possible solutions to the problem. You can suggest others.
  4. Have them identify the benefits and disadvantages of each solution. A point system might help. For instance, the cost of solving the problem might be crucial.
  5. Have them choose the best solution. (They might ask, "What do you think I should do?"  Don't take the bait, because if you do suggest the best solution - and it doesn't work - they'll be the first to say, "I told you it wouldn't work!" )
  6. Have them write the steps they will take to achieve the solution (giving deadlines).
  7. Refuse to talk about the topic in the future.

This is an ideal tactic to use yourself if you've become a whiner, complainer or bellyacher yourself, or use when you have to make complicated decisions. It takes the emotion out of the decision-making process and forces you to be more objective.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books  

August 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, August 11, 2016

Last month we discussed Mobile Phone Safety. This month we will discuss:

Dealing with Difficult People
Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the best-selling book;
Dealing with Difficult People

This series of seminars enables you to control your moods by not allowing others to give you negative feelings. You’ll learn how to control your anger and stress levels and obtain a psychological edge by improving your people skills.

Knowing techniques that work for dealing with difficult people and situations can boost your confidence, improve your competence, reduce stress and anxiety and increase your enthusiasm for life.

You’ll experience a feeling of accomplishment when you handle difficult situations well. Your employer, family, relatives and friends will trust and rely on you; will think twice before pushing you around; and will be more willing to try to please you.

How do I know the techniques really work? Because more than 55,000 participants have attended my Dealing with Difficult People seminar and have given their input. Many took the time to write to me with examples of how they dealt with particularly difficult situations. Those contributions are scattered throughout the seminars. I endorse every technique and use them regularly. Not only do I handle difficult situations better, but I’ve also gained control of my reactions to negative situations. So can you!

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy two of the Dealing with Difficult Supervisors; Subordinates, Clients, Husbands, Wives, Children, In-Laws, or Seniors for only $40:

 

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE SERIES

OF SEMINARS

Min.

Cost

Maintaining Control During Difficult Situations 

32

$25

Dealing with Different Personality Types

33

$25

Dealing with Criticism

34

$25

Dealing with Difficult Supervisors – Part One

38

$25

Dealing with Difficult Supervisors – Part Two

36

$25

Dealing with Difficult Supervisors - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Co-Workers

38

$25

Dealing with Difficult Subordinates – Part One

38

$25

Dealing with Difficult Subordinates – Part Two

39

$25

Dealing with Difficult Subordinates - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Clients – Part One

32

$25

Dealing with Difficult Clients – Part Two

30

$25

Dealing with Difficult Clients - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Husbands – Part One

34

$25

Dealing with Difficult Husbands – Part Two

35

$25

Dealing with Difficult Husbands - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Wives – Part One

31

$25

Dealing with Difficult Wives – Part Two

31

$25

Dealing with Difficult Wives - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Children – Part One

40

$25

Dealing with Difficult Children – Part Two

37

$25

Dealing with Difficult Children - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Relatives

34

$25

Dealing with Difficult Brothers

36

$25

Dealing with Difficult Sisters

32

$25

Dealing with Difficult Parents  

40

$25

Dealing with Difficult In-Laws – Part One

33

$25

Dealing with Difficult In-Laws – Part Two

32

$25

Dealing with Difficult In-Laws - Part One + Two

$40

Dealing with Difficult Seniors – Part One

31

$25

Dealing with Difficult seniors – Part Two

33

$25

Dealing with Difficult Seniors – Part One + Two

$45

Dealing with Difficult Teens and Young Adults

33

$25

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

‘Everyone must love me” manipulators

Their goal is to have everyone – spouse lover, children, boss, friends, shopkeepers and even the man who comes to the door selling magazines to think they’re the greatest. They feel like failures if they don’t please everybody (an impossible task). To overcome:

  1. Help them identify when others are using them.
  2. Assist them to find ways to handle situations where others are using them.
  3. Praise them when they stand up for themselves.
  4. Constantly remind them that they can’t please everybody all the time.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books  

July, 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Friday, July 01, 2016

HAPPY CANADA DAY – JULY 1ST

Last month we discussed our on-line bullying seminars. This month we will discuss:

Mobile Phone Safety

Your mobile phone can actually be a life-saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things you can do with it (that you probably didn’t know about.

First: Emergency

The emergency number worldwide for mobile phones is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing networks to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked.

Second: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? If so, this may come in handy some day and is a good reason to own a cellular phone.

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone at their end. Your car will unlock. This saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.

Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ‘remote’ for your car, you can unlock the doors (or boot).

Third: Hidden Battery Power

Imagine that your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone the next time.

Fourth: How to disable a stolen cell phone?

To check your mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Do it now before your phone might go missing. Write the number down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them the code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use or sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with Intimidators:

Whenever they don't get what they want, they use hidden ways to threaten, coerce, hurt or embarrass others.  Staff feel powerless when the intimidator is their boss.  They're noted for stabbing others in the back, so don't drop your guard and be ready for an attack.  To overcome:

  1. Prepare yourself psychologically for your next encounter.
  2. Rehearse how you will respond the next time they try to intimidate you.
  3. Walk away from them, explaining that their tactics aren't going to work on you any more.
  4. If this is your boss, call in reinforcements by speaking with someone in the Human Resources Department, a mediator or an employee relations manager. If necessary, go above your boss's head to his or her manager. Make sure you bring facts with you, not assumptions and innuendoes.
  5. If upper management won't help, contact the Anti-Discrimination commission of your State or Territory who will advise you on how to proceed against a boss who uses harassment to coerce staff.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

June 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Career Counselling. This month we will discuss:

Dealing with Bullies

Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the books;

Dealing with Domestic Violence and Child Abuse;

Dealing with School Bullying;

Dealing with Workplace Bullying

Are you a victim of Domestic Violence?

What do you do to help children who are being abused?

How can you get your school to implement a zero-tolerance School Bullying Policy?

Are you a victim of Workplace Bullying?

If so, this series of seminars will enable you to understand why bullies do what they do and how to counter-act their violent actions. There are eleven seminars in this series that are the result of two and a half year’s research by Roberta Cava, the presenter of the seminars.

Learn about domestic violence, what it is, what causes it, why it happens, why people stay in abusive relationships, and how hard it is to get out of a domestic violence cycle.

Learn about child abuse, how they are abused, how they react, and what you can do to help them

Learn about workplace bullying that is rampant in most corporations; how to implement an effective zero-tolerance anti-bullying policy; how to stop harassment and sexual harassment; how to implement an effective sexual harassment policy and how to stop the aggression that is pervasive in our corporate world.

You will learn what needs to be done to stop domestic violence and child abuse, school and workplace bullying. Knowing techniques that work  for dealing with bullies can boost your confidence, improve your competence, reduce stress and anxiety and increase your enthusiasm for life.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $20.00 per session. Buy two of Workplace Bullying or Child Abuse for $35; or

Buy three of the Domestic Violence or School Bullying for $45:

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with “Indecisive” manipulators

They have a terrible time making decisions and are compelled to ask everyone they meet to help them make decisions.  They’re noted for wavering between several choices or in changing their course of action three or four times before making even a tentative decision.  They seek the perfect solution, and are on edge if they can’t find one.  Once they make a decision, they discover a flaw in it and change their minds again.  They’re wishy-washy and inconsistent, swaying back and forth between choices.

To overcome:

  1. When they come to you asking for direction, ask them, “What do you think you should do?” Eventually they will see that they’re capable of making decisions for themselves.
  2. Ask yourself whether this person should be in a position that involves making decisions. Many people are more comfortable having others make decisions for them.
  3. If they must make decisions, have them give several solutions, then encourage them to make a decision.
  4. Give deadlines if decisions must be made.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about our other seminars?

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

May, 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Monday, May 02, 2016

Last month we discussed our Time Management Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Career Counselling

Instead of dragging yourself to work every day, why not start the New Year by searching for a job you really like?

In these hard economic times, are you finding it difficult to find suitable employment in your field of work? How would you like to expand those opportunities? This unique career counselling service will enable you to determine your transferrable skills and identify another 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations where you could use those skills.

An investment of $175.00 will provide you with an extensive report that includes:

  • A list of your transferrable skills
  • 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations you could investigate that use your transferrable skills
  • A psychological report that includes:

1.    Your strengths in the areas of interest, ability, values, personality, capacity.

2.    Interest, ability and personality profiles

3.    What you think your skills are compared to what they really are.

4.    Determine your management, persuasive, social artistic, clerical, mechanical, investigative and operational abilities.

5.    Whether you are outgoing, reserved, factual, creative, analytical, caring, organised, or causal .

6.    Your ability to think, reason, and solve problems.

7.    Values inventory.

8.    Your stamina level.

9.    Your I.Q. Score.

10.   Performance and personality characteristics.

11.   Motivational and De-motivational factors.

12.   Whether you have what it takes to become an entrepreneur and have your own business.

What will happen........

When we receive your payment of $175.00 through our web page, (along with a copy of your CV or resume) we will e-mail you our Career Choices workbook. As soon as we receive your completed workbook, we will send you your personalized extensive Career Choices report. This service can also be done via regular post (but it will take much longer).

For more information contact: info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

You might also consider purchasing Roberta Cava’s book What am I going to do with the rest of my Life? 

You can order the book or read a free sample chapter by going to our web site.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

March 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Last month we discussed excerpts of Roberta Cava’s most recent book: Keeping Our Children Safe. Today we will give you additional excerpts from the third chapter of that book relating to:

School Bullying

What parents can do to help a bullied child:

When a parent finds out his or her child has been bullied, the initial feelings are of outrage and anger and their first reaction is to act and take steps to stop the bullying. But what are they to do?

If the child is physically injured, these would need to be attended to first. If possible, take coloured photos of the injuries and/or any damage there may be to the child’s clothing or belongings. Sympathise with the child and let him/her know that this is a case of bullying and you will be taking steps to stop it from happening again. Interview any witnesses. If the injury is serious, lodge an assault case with the police against the bully. If the child is afraid to have you say anything, explain that if s/he does nothing, it protects the bully who is counting on the child not to ‘tattle.’

Write down all the details about the incident - what happened, where it happened, who was involved and names of any witnesses. If the bullying took place on school property, speak with the school principal and give a copy of your written notes about the bullying incident. Add the school’s reactions to your complaint, giving name of person, staff position, date and time of interview. Schools have a legal responsibility to ensure that they will provide a non-violent environment for all students.

Contact the parents of the bully. Many will co-operate, but others don’t see the bullying actions as being important enough to deal with it. In the latter homes, violence and abuse are usually the normal behaviour so the parents will not be concerned about doing something to stop the bullying.

Point out that there was physical damage (either to the child or his/her possessions) and that what has happened is assault. Explain that you’ll be reporting it to the school and it could become necessary to contact the police. Let them know you’re serious about your complaint and what you expect them to do:

  • Have the bully apologise to your child;
  • Determine what punishment the child will have for the bullying incident and what they’ll do if the incident happens again;
  • Warn the child that if this behaviour happens again, that you will go to the police and charge them with assault.

Parents of a bullying child need to ask themselves whether their actions to each other in the home have contributed to their child believing that bullying is acceptable behaviour.

If the school or parents do not show that they’ll deal with and stop the bullying, go higher in the school system. If this doesn’t prove successful, send a copy of the report of all events to date to the police for their files and advise them that you’re seeing a lawyer. If you can’t afford a lawyer, low cost legal aid is available in most cities.

When a child is enrolled in a school, the parents should ask for copies of school policies relating to bullying; how many incidents have taken place in the past few years and what steps they should take if an incident takes place. They should insist that they be informed of all bullying incidents that occur that affect their child (whether the child was a target, a bully or a witness).

Many schools have an unofficial reputation for tolerating bullying. This reputation is usually common knowledge throughout the student community. In these schools more children tend to feel anxious about their personal safety and as a result many are reluctant to go to school.

To tackle bullying you will have to liaise closely with the school and will probably have to talk to the bully’s parents. Establish first of all whether this is an isolated incident (in which case nipping it in the bud is likely to have a high probability of success) or whether the child bully has a history of bullying behaviour.

Remember that most children will try bullying at some time. Most will soon realise that it’s not an appropriate way of behaving and grow out of it quickly, especially if you help your child see why it’s inappropriate and encourage and support them in learning better ways of behaving.

Only when the issue of bullying is brought into the open and policies and procedures showing how the school will deal with bullying are widely known and enforced will schools gain a reputation for being safe for all children.

Roberta’s book Keeping Our Children Safe is a must for parents who want to keep their pre-teens and teens safe.

Paperback version ($14.99 + Delivery) can be ordered by going to website: www.createspace.com/5611929

eBook version – multiple formats ($9.99) can be ordered by going to website: www.smashwords.com/books/view/575818

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

February 2016 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Monday, February 01, 2016

Last month we discussed Roberta Cava’s most recent book: Keeping Our Children Safe. Today we will give you additional excerpts from the third chapter of that book relating to:

School Bullying

Pupils who Bully

Physical Aggression: This behaviour is more common among boys than girls. It includes pushing, shoving, punching, kicking, poking and tripping people up. It may also take the form of severe physical assault. While boys commonly engage in ‘mess fights,’ they can often be used as a disguise for physical harassment or inflicting pain.

Damage to Property: Personal property can be the focus of attention for the bully: this may result in damage to clothing, school books and other learning material or interference with a pupil’s locker or bicycle. The contents of school bags and pencil cases may be scattered on the floor. Items of personal property may be defaced, broken, stolen or hidden.

Extortion: Demands for money may be made, often accompanied by threats (sometimes carried out) in the event of the target not promptly ‘paying up.’ Targets’ lunches, lunch vouchers or lunch money may be taken. Targets may also be forced into theft of property for delivery to the bully. Sometimes, this tactic is used with the sole purpose of incriminating the target.

Intimidation: Some bullying behaviour takes the form of intimidation; it is based on the use of very aggressive body language with the voice being used as a weapon. Particularly upsetting to targets can be the so-called ‘look’ - a facial expression that conveys aggression and/or dislike.

Abusive Telephone Calls or texts: The abusive anonymous telephone call or text is a form of verbal intimidation or bullying. The anonymous phone call is very prevalent where teachers are the targets of bullying.

Exclusion and Isolation: This form of bullying behaviour seems to be more prevalent among girls. A certain person is deliberately isolated, excluded or ignored by some or the entire class group. This practice is usually initiated by the person engaged in bullying behaviour. It may be accompanied by writing insulting remarks about the target on blackboards or in public places, by passing around notes about or drawings of the target or by whispering insults about them loud enough to be heard.

Name Calling: Persistent name-calling directed at the same individual(s), that hurts, insults or humiliates should be regarded as a form of bullying behaviour. Most name-calling of this type refers to physical appearance, e.g. ‘big ears,’ size or clothes worn.

Accent or distinctive voice characteristics may attract negative attention. Academic ability can also provoke name-calling. This tends to operate at two extremes; first, there are those who are singled out for attention because they’re perceived to be slow, or weak, academically. These pupils are often referred to as ‘dummies,’ ‘dopes’ or ‘donkeys.’

At the other extreme are those who, because they’re perceived as high achievers, are labelled ‘swots,’ ‘brain-boxes,’ ‘licks,’ ‘teachers’ pets,’ etc.

Teasing: This behaviour usually refers to the good-natured banter that goes on as part of the normal social interchange between mainly young people. However, when this teasing extends to very personal remarks aimed again and again at one individual about appearance, clothing, personal hygiene or involves references of an uncomplimentary nature to members of one’s family, particularly if couched in sexual innuendo, then it assumes the form of bullying. Or it may take the form of suggestive remarks about a pupil’s sexual orientation.

Is your child a bully?

Here are some signs that your child might be a bully:

  • Complaints from school about your child’s behaviour;
  • Seems to have unaccountable money;
  • Complaints from other parents about their behaviour;
  • Buys things that you know they can’t afford;
  • Explanations that their friends gave them the designer clothes they’re wearing;
  • Have a cocky, superior air about them.

Parents of a bullying child need to ask themselves whether their actions to each other in the home have contributed to their child believing that bullying is acceptable behaviour.

Roberta’s book Keeping Our Children Safe is a must for parents who want to keep their pre-teens and teens safe.

Paperback version ($14.99 + Delivery) can be ordered by going to website: www.createspace.com/5611929

eBook version – multiple formats ($9.99) can be ordered by going to website: www.smashwords.com/books/view/575818

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

 

 

 


 
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