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August 2015 Dealing With Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Saturday, August 01, 2015

Last month we discussed Mobile Phone Safety. This month we will discuss:

THE NEW SYNTHETIC DRUGS ARE DEADLY!

To date, these new drugs have killed eight people in Australia and many more world-wide. They can be ordered legally over the internet, mainly from China where the drugs are legal. They are cheap and are sold as ‘legal highs.’ In Australia, convenience stores, sex shops and tobacco shops are innocently selling the drugs, with some not knowing that these drugs are causing horrific results.

There have been many deaths and users (some of them very young – in their early teens) suffer from terrible health problems such as strokes, heart damage, kidney / renal damage, violent outbursts, psychosis, irrational fears and depression.

The over one hundred new synthetic drugs are often marketed in little packets that look like collector cards using such names as: OMG, Tai High, Rave, Kapow, Amsterdam Royal, Kryp2nite, K2, Black Mamba, Smacked, Spice, Benzo Fury, Kronic, Minga, White Revolver, Blueberry and the one that has caused innumerable deaths – 251-NBom (i.e.: N-Bomb) that is twenty-five times stronger than LSD.

Another drug that is deadly is the synthetic cannabis that is one hundred times stronger than marijuana. The addition of fluoride to the contents causes irreparable kidney damage.

Please report any of these to your local police or Crime Stoppers (where you can remain anonymous) before someone else gets hurt or killed.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with “Indecisive” manipulators

They have a terrible time making decisions and are compelled to ask everyone they meet to help them make decisions.  They’re noted for wavering between several choices or in changing their course of action three or four times before making even a tentative decision.  They seek the perfect solution, and are on edge if they can’t find one.  Once they make a decision, they discover a flaw in it and change their minds again.  They’re wishy-washy and inconsistent, swaying back and forth between choices.

To overcome:

  1. When they come to you asking for direction, ask them, “What do you think you should do?”  Eventually they will see that they’re capable of making decisions for themselves.
  2. Ask yourself whether this person should be in a position that involves making decisions. Many people are more comfortable having others make decisions for them.
  3. If they must make decisions, have them give several solutions, then encourage them to make a decision.
  4. Give deadlines if decisions must be made.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

July 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Last month we discussed Supervisors from Hell. This month we will discuss:

Mobile Phone Safety

Your mobile phone can actually be a life-saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things you can do with it (that you probably didn’t know about.

First: Emergency

The emergency number worldwide for mobile phones is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing networks to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked.

Second: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? If so, this may come in handy some day and is a good reason to own a cellular phone.

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone at their end. Your car will unlock. This saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.

Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other ‘remote’ for your car, you can unlock the doors (or boot).

Third: Hidden Battery Power

Imagine that your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone the next time.

Fourth: How to disable a stolen cell phone?

To check your mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone *#06#. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Do it now before your phone might go missing. Write the number down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them the code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use or sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with Intimidators:

Whenever they don't get what they want, they use hidden ways to threaten, coerce, hurt or embarrass others.  Staff feel powerless when the intimidator is their boss.  They're noted for stabbing others in the back, so don't drop your guard and be ready for an attack.  To overcome:

  1. Prepare yourself psychologically for your next encounter.
  2. Rehearse how you will respond the next time they try to intimidate you.
  3. Walk away from them, explaining that their tactics aren't going to work on you any more.
  4. If this is your boss, call in reinforcements by speaking with someone in the Human Resources Department, a mediator or an employee relations manager. If necessary, go above your boss's head to his or her manager. Make sure you bring facts with you, not assumptions and innuendoes.
  5. If upper management won't help, contact the Anti-Discrimination commission of your State or Territory who will advise you on how to proceed against a boss who uses harassment to coerce staff.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback, large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

June, 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Last month we discussed Career Counselling. This month we will discuss:

SUPERVISORS FROM HELL

When I first started offering my Dealing with Difficult People seminars, I assumed that “off the wall” clients would be the most difficult group in the workplace. My second guess - was difficult workmates or colleagues. Was I wrong in making those assumptions! I found that overwhelmingly, their supervisors and managers were the most difficult people faced by the 52,000 participants of my seminar!

Why is this the case? Because most of their supervisors, managers, foremen/women, department heads, executives and even C.E.O.s of companies had not received the basic training necessary for them to successfully supervise others. These difficult supervisors made the following mistakes:

  1. Embarrass their staff by disciplining them in front of workmates or clients.
  2. Label staff’s behaviour (stupid, dumb) or make sarcastic remarks, instead of trying to correct the actual behaviour of the staff member.
  3. Don’t give recognition for a job well done.  Instead, they concentrate on the two percent of the things their staff do incorrectly, instead of the ninety-eight percent they do properly.
  4. When dealing with customer complaints, they don’t back up their staff and don’t give employees a chance to tell their side of the story before acting.  (Who should say to the client, “Let me investigate this and I’ll get back to you.”)
  5. Don’t provide an up-to-date job description with key performance indicators and standards of performance for the tasks performed by their staff.
  6. Don’t provide the necessary training to fill the gap between job requirements and employee’s skills.
  7. Conduct performance appraisals on staff without a proper job description upon which to base their evaluation.  (If the employee doesn’t know what’s expected of him/her, and the supervisor doesn’t know either - how can a fair evaluation of the performance be conducted?)
  8. Have one set of company rules for staff - another for themselves.  Bend the rules when clients go over the head of front-line staff, causing embarrassment for staff members.
  9. No set policy and procedure manuals available.  Rules and regulations of the company are not clearly defined.

10.Harass staff (either through bullying or sexual harassment).

11.Do nothing to improve the employee’s interest in their jobs.  Some are afraid their staff are now ready to compete for their job, so do as little as possible to develop their skills for their next step up.  (It’s a proven fact that more supervisors are not promoted because there is nobody prepared to take over their existing job.)

12.Are not available when their staff need their help.  They say they have an “open door policy,” but are always “too busy” to deal with their staff’s problems.

13.Won’t listen to their staff’s suggestions about better ways to complete tasks.  The person doing the job normally has the best ideas on how to do the job better, faster, and more efficiently.

14.Are perfectionists and expect everything to be done perfectly.  Just because they can do the job in ten minutes (they have fifteen years’ experience) they expect the newcomer to do it in the same amount of time with the same amount of accuracy.

If this describes the actions of your supervisors / managers, seriously consider providing them with the necessary tools to do their jobs properly - otherwise you’re setting them up to fail!  If this is you making these mistakes - get the training yourself or you too will fail.

Let’s assume you’re the new supervisor. You’ve decided that because you have a BA or an MBA degree, you’re fully prepared to be a supervisor and you’ll be safe if you clone the behaviour of your past supervisors.  Unfortunately, most BA and MBA degree programs do not include supervisory training, and most supervisors have not had the proper training. Therefore, you may be setting yourself up to be another “Supervisor from Hell.”

So you decide to do the right thing and obtain basic supervisory training.  Will it take a long time and cost too much?  No - learning the basics of supervision won’t involve as much time as you’d expect. What will you need to learn? The first thing you’ll realise is that you’ll have an entirely different role to play. People will expect so much from you - from your boss downward, and from your staff upwards. How’s a person to cope? You’ll be expected to delegate work to your staff, but how do you decide who’s the right person to do the job? And after you’ve delegated the task, how do you motivate your staff to do a good job for you? How do you manage your time, when so many people need you to be available to them - and still get your own work done? You know that if you’re not efficient in time management, you’ll have your staff sitting around twiddling their thumbs one minute or madly scrambling at the last minute to complete assignments. If this happens, you’ll be in trouble with your  boss.

Then there are the problems - oh the problems! Why do your staff keep coming to you with their “Mickey Mouse” problems - can’t they use some initiative and make some decisions on their own? You say that if I’d trained them thoroughly - they wouldn’t be coming to me with those kinds of problems? Who has the time or the capabilities to play the part of a training manager along with all the other duties I’m expected to perform?

Am I really responsible for choosing new staff? How am I supposed to hire staff when I’ve never hired anyone before, and haven’t a clue how to do so, without breaking the anti-discrimination laws. And you say I’ll have to step in and deal with personality problems between staff members, correct behaviour and production problems, update job descriptions, and conduct performance appraisal interviews? How am I going to cope with all these new responsibilities?

Then you have to consider the following.  What if you’re one of ten workmates who applied for the job, and are facing nine hostile staff members who thought they should have your job?  And Margaret is your best friend - can you still socialise with her or will you have to distance yourself from her because she now reports to you?

Many who have taken on the responsibilities of a supervisor wonder what possibly possessed them to accept the position!  Unless a supervisor knows how to deal with these issues – s/he will likely become another “Supervisor from Hell.” So what’s a person to do? The answer is simple - get the necessary training - even if you have to pay for it yourself! 

Tip of the month: (Excerpt from Roberta Cava's book Dealing with Difficult People).

How to Deal with Bullies:

Bullies use fear, cruelty and threats to control others.  Although they often fool others into believing they have high self-esteem, the opposite is true. That’s why they go after those who appear weak and passive.  The hair on the back of your neck will rise when these people enter the room. Instead of behaving submissively around them, stand your ground. To overcome:

  1. Let Bullies fully vent their anger without retaliating, remembering that you control whether you accept their anger or are unaffected by it.
  2. Confirm that you understand their side of the issue (using paraphrasing).
  3. If they bully you in public, deal with them immediately.  Don’t wait until you have a private moment, as you would with other, less aggressive people.
  4. Encourage them to obtain anger management.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

May 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Sunday, May 03, 2015

Last month we discussed our Time Management Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Career Counselling

Instead of dragging yourself to work every day, why not search for a job you really like?

In these hard economic times, are you finding it difficult to find suitable employment in your field of work? How would you like to expand those opportunities? This unique career counselling service will enable you to determine your transferrable skills and identify another 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations where you could use those skills.

An investment of $175.00 will provide you with an extensive report that includes:

  • A list of your transferrable skills
  • 20 to 40 primary and secondary occupations you could investigate that use your transferrable skills
  • A psychological report that includes:

1.    Your strengths in the areas of interest, ability, values, personality, capacity.

2.    Interest, ability and personality profiles

3.    What you think your skills are compared to what they really are.

4.    Determine your management, persuasive, social artistic, clerical, mechanical, investigative and operational abilities.

5.    Whether you are outgoing, reserved, factual, creative, analytical, caring, organised, or causal .

6.    Your ability to think, reason, and solve problems.

7.    Values inventory.

8.    Your stamina level.

9.    Your I.Q. Score.

10.   Performance and personality characteristics.

11.   Motivational and De-motivational factors.

12.   Whether you have what it takes to become an entrepreneur and have your own business.

What will happen........

When we receive your payment of $175.00 through our web page, (along with a copy of your CV or resume) we will e-mail you our Career Choices workbook. As soon as we receive your completed workbook, we will send you your personalized extensive Career Choices report. This service can also be done via regular post (but it will take much longer).

For more information contact: info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info

You might also consider purchasing Roberta Cava’s book What am I going to do with the rest of my Life? 

You can order the book or read a free sample chapter by going to our web site.

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with “Childish” manipulators at work

They play games with others; interrupt them with childish antics.  They can have the ‘class clown’ mentality where they seek others’ attention by fooling around. Getting them to accomplish tasks can be a heavy chore. To overcome:

1.    Arrange a meeting to discuss your displeasure.

2.    Show your encouragement when they improve.

3.    If they act up at meetings, take them aside.

4.    A clearly defined job description that includes set standards of performance on how they are to complete tasks will help.

5.    If the behaviour continues, begin disciplinary steps with written warnings.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

April, 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Last month we discussed our series of seminars on Training and Development series of seminars. Today we will discuss:

TIME - TODAY'S SILENT KILLER
SERIES OF SEMINARS

Why pay hundreds of dollars to attend and travel
to seminar venues?

Instead, why not choose one or all of the following sessions
(25 to 40 minutes in length)
that can be taken at YOUR convenience?

With Roberta Cava - author of the eBook: 

Time& Stress - Today's Silent Killer

Do you find you have too few hours in the day?

Are you always rushed?

Is your stress level off the scale?

If so Time: Today's Silent Killer is the session for you! It’s an absolute must for anyone who needs to improve their time management skills.

If you don't manage your time properly, your stress level goes up, so start with time management.  Develop techniques that gave you maximum benefit from the minimum investment of time. Learn that cutting corners, is not cheating - but rather good management of your time. Compare how you use your time, to how you really want to spend your time, and become energised and able to accomplish much more than you have in the past.

Learn secrets on how to cope with the constant time pressures of everyday living at home and at work. You will learn:

  • How to live a longer, fuller life.
  • Time Management at work;
  • Time Management at home;
  • Choosing Priorities;
  • Procrastination;
  • The Importance of setting lifetime goals;
  • The fear of failure and the fear of success syndrome;
  • Workaholism and burnout.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session.

(Ctrl + Click on sessions to go to web page)

To learn more about what you can do to handle the stressors in your life, be sure to look at Roberta's book: Time& Stress - Today's Silent Killer.  Why not try reading a sample chapter?

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with 2-Faced Manipulators:

They "talk out of both sides of their mouths."  They're hypocrites who double-deal others with intentional misrepresentation or deception.  To your face they pretend to be your friend, but you may find out the hard way that they're not.  They may deceive you into believing that the data they give you verbally for inclusion in your report is correct, when in fact it's not.  Therefore, your entire report is useless, making you (not they) look bad.  To overcome:

  1. Ask questions that require direct answers.
  2. Have them send information in writing, so they can't dispute the information given.
  3. Protect yourself in the future by checking every item to ensure that the information given is factual.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

March 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Sunday, March 01, 2015

Last month we discussed Managing the Human Resources Function Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Training and Development Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the book:

Human Resources at its Best!

This series of seminars is geared towards those who are responsible for either researching, preparing or presenting seminars for either a training firm or in-house for a company.

Roberta has been involved in the field of Human Resources and Training since 1974. Her first international Training and Development office was opened in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada in 1982, her second in Maui, Hawaii, USA in 1986, and her third in Queensland, Australia in 1998 when she emigrated to Australia.

She has researched, prepared and presented over 100 different seminars in Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Germany, South Africa, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Thailand, and the Philippines.

To learn more about researching, preparing and presenting training and development seminars, be sure to look at Roberta’s book Human Resources At its Best!
 

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy Part 1 and 2 of the Training and Development sessions for only $40:

 

 

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with “Sticky-Iffy” manipulators

These are backhanded compliments. They start by praising you and end up with a qualifying put-down. These left-handed compliments catch you off guard the first time. You feel so good about the praise that you didn't realise until later that there was a hidden negative implication tied to it. A little later, you wonder if you just imagined the slap - or if it was really intended. The two-sided remark was meant as a barb. Trying not to show signs of being stung, you feel yourself smile and hear yourself sputter thanks, while knowing that’s not the way you should respond. Then you kick yourself for having thanked somebody who just got away with putting you down. Examples of this are:

      ‘You can lift a lot of weight for someone so small.’

     ‘You’re in great shape for a person your age.’

     ‘You’re almost as smart as your sister.’

     ‘You make a lot of money for a woman.’

     ‘You’re really agile for a person your size.’

 To overcome:

1. Divide the remark into two parts - praise and put-down.

2. Reply to the person, ‘I don’t know how you expect me to react to your last comment.  On one hand you’ve given me a compliment, then you’ve pulled the rug out from under me by giving me a put-down.  Which way did you intend me to receive it?’  (This makes the person know that you’re onto their game playing.)

 Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

 www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

 PS:

What might be of interest to those living in Australia is that Roberta Cava has just been appointed to be Chairperson for the new Gold Coast Crime Stoppers Volunteer Committee.

February 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Sunday, February 01, 2015

Last month we discussed Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

 

Managing the Human Resources Function
Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the books:

Human Resources at its Best!

Human Resources Policies & Procedures and

Employee Handbook

This series of seminars is geared towards those who are responsible for managing the Human Resources function for their companies, or for those who must keep aware of their responsibilities as a manager relating to human resources issues.

Roberta has been involved in the field of Human Resources and Training since 1974. In addition to offering Training and Development seminars internationally, she has been Head of Human Resources for two international companies and has gone into companies too small to have their own H.R. Department to set it up, then train someone to manage it. She has prepared Human Resources Policy and Procedures Manuals and Employee Handbooks (which are available through her web site).

She opened her first office in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada in 1982, her second in Maui, Hawaii, USA in 1986, and her third in Queensland, Australia in 1998 when she emigrated to Australia.

To learn more about managing the Human Resources function for your company, be sure to look at Roberta’s books.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy Part 1 and 2 of Employment Interviews or Correcting Employee Performance sessions for only $40:


   MANAGING THE HUMAN RESOURCES

   FUNCTION SERIES OF SEMINARS

Min

Cost

  Writing Effective Job Descriptions

25

$25

  Hiring Know-How

25

$25

  Employment Interviews - Part 1

27

$25

  Employment Interviews - Part 2

25

$25

  Employment Interviews - Part 1 & 2

52

$40

  Performance Appraisals

28

$25

  Correcting Employee Performance - Part 1

27

$25

  Correcting Employee Performance - Part 2

26

$25

  Correcting Employee Performance - Part 1  & 2

53

$40

  Absenteeism & Sexual Harassment

27

$25

  Counselling and Exit Interviews

29

$25

  Disciplinary Interviews

25

$25

 

 

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

How to deal with “Over Committed” manipulators

These are nice people who can't say ‘No’ to others’ requests. However they often find they haven't time to do what they promised.  They love harmony and hate to argue, so they’ll agree to do what others ask them to do. They avoid confrontation hoping they won’t hurt others’ feelings. They promise too much or say they’ll to do something they don't really want to do. Unable to handle it all, they put off action or making decisions and break their promises. They don’t hurt others intentionally, but often cause difficulty for others who are depending on them to follow-through.  To overcome:

 

1. Have them make a verbal or written commitment to you that they will carry it out as promised.

2. When necessary - you make the decision whether they do or do not do something.

3. If they do commit themselves, explain that you’re counting on them and will be very disappointed if they let you down. 

 

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

 

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

January 2015 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Thursday, January 01, 2015

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 Last month we discussed Dealing with Difficult Bullies Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the best-selling book;
Dealing with Difficult People and her book:
Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers

This series of seminars is geared towards those who are already supervisors and managers, but are having problems supervising their staff. It is also for those who are new supervisors or who will soon be a new supervisor.

Whenever work is delegated to others, the person responsible for their actions is their supervisor. It doesn’t matter whether those individuals have the title of supervisor, foreman/woman, manager, department head, superintendent, executive or CEO – if they’re supervising others – they’re supervisors.

Roberta has presented these seminars in Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Great Britain, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Germany, South Africa, Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, and the Philippines.

To learn more about hiring, disciplining and firing staff, be sure to look at Roberta’s book Easy Come – Hard to Go – the art of hiring disciplining and firing employees.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session or buy Part 1 and 2 of the Leadership Styles, Motivation, Time Management or Workplace Bullying for only $40:


SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR                            Min.    Cost

SUPERVISORS AND

MANAGERS SERIES OF

SEMINARS

The Role of the Supervisor                      34       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1                        26       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 2                        25       $25

Leadership Styles - Part 1 and 2            51       $40

Delegation                                                    25       $25

Motivation - Part 1                                      28       $25

Motivation - Part 2                                      25       $25

Motivation - Part 1 and 2                           53       $40

Time Management - Part 1                       27       $25

Time Management - Part 2                       25       $25

Time Management Part 1 and 2              52       $40

Problem Solving & Decision Making      27       $25

Managing Change                                      25       $25

Productive Meetings                                  35       $25

Team Building                                             28       $25

The Art of Negotiation                               25       $25

Surviving Company Downsizing             26       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1                     25       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 2                     27       $25

Workplace Bullying - Part 1 and 2          52       $40

  

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

Envious/jealous manipulators

These people suffer from jealousy and resentment and cannot accept that you’ve earned whatever recognition or status you’ve achieved in life. They feel that your achievements were obtained through ‘luck’ and that they’re deprived because life hasn’t been so kind to them. To put you down (and make themselves feel more important) they try to discredit your accomplishments. They want revenge and even if the attack is unprovoked, they may vent their frustration on you with hostile acts. To overcome:

1. Use feedback to identify their actions and ask them to account for them.   Then try to keep future talks on a friendly level.

2. Encourage them and give them praise for authentic acts.

3. Show an interest in them - their goals, ambitions, and successes, but down-play their perceived failures.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback large print and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/books/index.htm

December 2014 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Monday, December 01, 2014

I would like to wish you all a happy holiday season.

Last month we discussed Dealing with Difficult Manipulators Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

 

Dealing with Bullies

Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the books;

Dealing with Domestic Violence and Child Abuse;
Dealing with School Bullying;
Dealing with Workplace Bullying

Are you a victim of Domestic Violence?

What do you do to help children who are being abused?

How can you get your school to implement a zero-tolerance School Bullying Policy?

Are you a victim of Workplace Bullying?

 

If so, this series of seminars will enable you to understand why bullies do what they do and how to counter-act their violent actions. There are eleven seminars in this series that are the result of two and a half year’s research by Roberta Cava, the presenter of the seminars.

Learn about domestic violence, what it is, what causes it, why it happens, why people stay in abusive relationships, and how hard it is to get out of a domestic violence cycle.

Learn about child abuse, how they are abused, how they react, and what you can do to help them.

Learn about workplace bullying that is rampant in most corporations; how to implement an effective zero-tolerance anti-bullying policy; how to stop harassment and sexual harassment; how to implement an effective sexual harassment policy and how to stop the aggression that is pervasive in our corporate world.

You will learn what needs to be done to stop domestic violence and child abuse, school and workplace bullying. Knowing techniques that work for dealing with bullies can boost your confidence, improve your competence, reduce stress and anxiety and increase your enthusiasm for life.

 

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $20.00 per session. Buy two of Workplace Bullying or Child Abuse for $35; or

Buy three of the Domestic Violence or School Bullying for $45:

 

DEALING WITH BULLIES SERIES OF SEMINARS

      Min.

 

 

 

What is bullying

26

$20

 

Workplace Bullying – Part 1

25

$20

 

Workplace Bullying – Part 2

27

$20

 

Workplace Bullying – Part 1 + Part 2

 

$35

 

Domestic Violence – Part 1

28

$20

 

Domestic Violence – Part 2

32

$20

 

Domestic Violence – Part 3

31

$20

 

Domestic Violence – Part 1, 2 + Part 3

 

$45

 

Child Abuse – Part 1

25

$20

 

Child Abuse – Part 2 

25

$20

 

Child Abuse – Part 1 + Part 2 

 

$35

 

School Bullying – Part 1 

26

$20

 

School Bullying – Part 2 

27.5

$20

 

School Bullying – Part 3

28.5

$20

 

School Bullying – Part 1 + Part 2 + Part3

 

$45

Tip of the day: 

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

The way to win arguments

Nobody likes to lose an argument.  Here are clues to how you might win your next one:

 

1.           Ask for time to think things over. Then both of you can take this opportunity to calm down.

2.           Pay attention to your body’s reaction. Has the fight-or-flight reaction been triggered?  Take a deep breath to increase your oxygen intake to your brain so it can analyse your situation more clearly.

3.           Don’t snap back at the person. You may regret a fast retort, which may have lasting repercussions.

4.           Determine what it is you want that you’re not getting?  Should you be willing to negotiate more - to give in a little so you can both win?

5.           If the other person has ‘lost it,’ don’t negotiate until s/he’s calmed down. A quiet manner is always your best approach.

6.           Wait until s/he’s willing to listen to your side of the story. Make sure you’re listening carefully to his/her side of the story.

7.           Make sure s/he knows you’re listening.  Use paraphrasing on a regular basis to confirm that what s/he’s said is what you heard.

8.           S/he doesn’t seem to be listening to what you have to say. Insist that s/he does.  Say, “I’ve made a point of listening carefully to what you have to say. Can I count on you to do the same for me?’

9.           Ask, ‘What do you want me to do?’ Clarify that you know what s/he wants. Listen to his/her answer and confirm or correct.

10.       State what you want, clearly and sequentially. Again, be willing to negotiate.

11.       When an agreement is reached, summarise the agreement and go over pertinent areas again to re-confirm your understanding.

 

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

 

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/BooksByRobertaCava/doc

November 2014 Dealing with Difficult People Newsletter

Roberta Cava - Saturday, November 01, 2014

Last month we discussed our Dealing with Difficult People Series of Seminars. This month we will discuss:

Dealing with Difficult Manipulators

Series of Seminars

With Roberta Cava - author of the internationally best-selling book; Dealing with Difficult People

This series of seminars will enable you to understand the different ways people try to manipulate you. You might not think that passive people do not manipulate you – but they do!

Learn about passive, passive resistant, indirect aggressive, aggressive and passive aggressive manipulators. You’ll learn how to control your anger and stress levels and obtain a psychological edge by improving your people skills.

Knowing techniques that work when dealing with difficult manipulators can boost your confidence, improve your competence, reduce stress and anxiety and increase your enthusiasm for life.

You’ll experience a feeling of accomplishment when you handle difficult situations well. Your employer, family, relatives and friends will trust and rely on you; will think twice before pushing you around and will be more willing to try to please you.

How do I know the techniques really work? Because more than 55,000 participants have attended my Dealing with Difficult People  seminar and have given their input. Many took the time to write to me with examples of how they dealt with particularly difficult situations. Those contributions are scattered throughout the seminars. I endorse every technique and use them regularly. Not only do I handle difficult situations better, but I’ve also gained control of my reactions to negative situations. So can you!

Steps to take when making a purchase:

1. Make sure you give yourself adequate time to view the presentation. Even though most sessions are from 30 to 40 minutes, you may wish to pause or go back to earlier slides. You may also like to take notes along the way, so one session might take you from one to three hours, depending on how long you wish to take.

2. Choose the session you wish to take.

3. Follow the prompts for payment.

4. Download and print out the seminar notes so you can add your own comments as you proceed through the session.

Choose one or all of the following sessions that cost only $25.00 per session; or buy the two Aggressive Manipulators for $35:

Session 1:  Passive Manipulators: 26 minutes

Session 2:  Passive Resistant: 27 minutes 

Session 3:  Indirect Aggressive: 28.5 minutes

Session 4:  Aggressive – Part 1: 23 minutes

Session 5:  Aggressive – Part 1: 26 minutes

Session 6:  Passive-Aggressive: 26 minutes

To order: Go to www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/Seminars

Tip of the day:

Excerpts from Roberta Cava's internationally best-selling book - DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE - How to deal with nasty customers, demanding bosses and uncooperative colleagues.

Martyrs:

They complain how they’ve sacrificed for you, what they’ve done for you. They crave constant praise for their work.  Many are workaholics who complain about all they have to do – yet won’t ask anyone for help. By doing this, they hope that others will become dependent upon them and will show appreciation for their efforts. Their workaholism can mask problems in their personal or social lives. Whenever things go wrong, they are never at fault, so they’re great at buck-passing. They complain about the amount of work they have, but their frantic pace sets a standard that others find almost impossible to meet. To overcome:

  1. Learn to say ‘No’ when they volunteer to do too much.
  2. Suggest they keep ‘to do’ lists.
  3. Make sure they have an up-to-date job description with standards of performance and make sure they do only their own assignments.

Why not look up our web page and learn all about the paperback and eBooks Roberta Cava has written. Go to:

www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info/BooksByRobertaCava/doc


 
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